I Am Dark Genius

Someday soon, your leaders will tremble at my feet, their pink tongues lapping the blood of innocents from my almighty boots.

But we're in a bit of a financial crunch over here my secret mountain lair. Seems the American military somehow got the idea that Osama bin Laden was hanging out in my neighborhood, so they naturally bombed the shit out of everything. Long story short, they damaged the foundation, and the hot tub leaked, and all that chlorinated water got into the computers downstairs. So I had to replace all that, thank you very much Michael Dell and your snippy "out of warranty means out of warranty."

So instead of jumping right into world domination, I've consulted my familiars and decided to take over the blogosphere this week, just to test out some strategies. Also, it never hurts to get folks used to the idea of being serfs in my galactic empire, cowering under my penetrating gaze, and seeing Michael Dell writhing on their screens, covered in honey and fire ants.